One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
