I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
