there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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