Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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