Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize