you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize