Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
