I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Text me some of your sweat
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize