Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize