That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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