Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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