Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
