cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
