that's an acceptable place to lick
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
