nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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