so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize