drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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