I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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