how can u be prego again
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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