I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
