just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
