I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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