I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
