Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
