I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
