i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
