Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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