Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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