Just fell off a train. Bad.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
