yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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