all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The air was thick with penises
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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