Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
