I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
