i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
