Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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