my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
