I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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