please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize