it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
