i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
