She's JV to your varsity
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
