forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I look better un-naked...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
