people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
