I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
