he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
