Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
