I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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