In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
