yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
