I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
