hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
