We're facebook friends in real life
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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