guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
