The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this will be a night to untag.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
