plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
