32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
