And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
