you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
