I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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