Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
