So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
