Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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