I am spending my child support on dildos
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
