Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
