that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
