the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
